The Warrior Daddy and I noticed a visitor last night on the bathroom wall.
A little friend that probably climbed upon a colorful sleeve, catching a ride to an unexpected place...
...a place he didn't belong.
I looked around for him this morning, without luck, and hoped maybe he had caught a ride right back outside on the sleeve of the Warrior Daddy.
Because it's hard when you find yourself in a world you don't understand.
But, the girls and I spied him again this evening slowly walking across the ceiling.
And I wondered how frustrated he must feel at that moment, having walked around in circles all day, stopping to rest in unnatural crevices, just trying to find his way back to his normal. And how last eve and this day must have seemed like forever.
This adoptive Momma knows that feeling.
I caught the ride of adoption. I dreamed the dream of being the loving Momma with the normal child who loved right back in return. I believed my love would be enough to heal her hurtful beginnings. I just knew I beheld the strength to carry her right through her trauma.
I woke up one day, with 3 broken girls, and realized there were really 4 traumatized females living inside these walls. Their trauma had invaded my trauma, and my perceived strength had disappeared into a cloud of hopelessness.
I felt kindred to that wandering beetle, walking aimlessly, searching for something ungraspable, feeling lost.
And when I had walked my last stubborn step on my own, realized I really didn't know where I was emotionally or how I had gotten there, I cried out for His strong hand to rescue.
I was blessed to be part of that special group. A small group of adoptive mommas, at all different places along the journey, with one thing in common - hurting hearts for a precious challenging child. The pilot group put together by an adoptive Momma of 3, Momma to 7, whose career as founder and executive director of an adoption agency, along with her own personal experience, led her heart to reach out to another adoptive momma, and write the book.
And this study began my road to healing.
Relationship is important, and this adoptive calling is too special to walk alone. Finding myself in a safe place, to share my emotions, grieve my losses, glance deeper into my wounds, was the catalyst I needed to open my heart. God is working His glorious plan through all this joy and pain.
He didn't take me out of my new world. He gently invited me to climb up onto His big strong hand. He gave me a glimpse of my world through His eyes.
And I scooted my way right into the middle of His palm, and I've never been the same.
I'm excited to share this journey again with a new group. Anyone interested?
For more information about the book, visit www.hopespromise.com.
