And well, I can't really complain, this is my wonderful, chosen life.
Yet, tonight I feel a little disappointed and adrift.
Tomorrow is the first day of August, and little Promise and Faith went to bed in tears at the thought of days of school once more. Joy's smile was beaming as I tucked her in for exactly the same thought.
I gave the house a good scrubbing today, and winced at the summer to-do-list check boxes that haven't been checked.
Where has my summer gone? It seems to be sliding so quickly into fall and I feel like kicking and screaming a large fit alongside Faith and Promise.
I wanted homemade curtains, a backyard finally finished, a deck stained, Joy's walls dressed. I did not crave doctor's appointments, new diagnoses, a funeral, family emergency, a different schedule.
I feel a bit as if my dreams are colliding with my reality.
"He must increase but I must decrease."
John 3:30
I am His first.
Purpose and peace come in His perfect timing.
...a blooming orchid, sisters drinking smoothies, an open sunflower, a homemade card sent from a true friend, the end of a 9-mile run on the treadmill, catching the girls reading on the trampoline, fluffy clouds in the sky, a heart-shaped rice crispie, Joy still happy with her baby pool.
Noticing His grace kisses and releasing my check lists.
More of Him, less of me. More surrender of me, and more glimpses into Him.
Trusting in the drifting, because He is purposely Sovereign.
