But that, in every sense, is exactly what He has done for this stubborn, broken girl.
I am that girl, who attempting perfection, teetered as high as I possibly could on the tips of my feeble toes. Yet still, from my well-educated vantage point, could not find any purpose or satisfaction.
I am that girl, who listened as the enemy whispered, and fell face down into a pit filled right full of lonliness, despair, and depression. I embraced the lie that my existence had no purpose, no value, absolutely no worth.
Mouth tasting dust, face down in my hole, I raised my hand high and shouted out for more..., something more, or death.
And He whispered, "Surrender."
And I shouted back, "I don't know how! I don't understand! But if I try, will You please give me wisdom? No more fluffy knowledge, please, real truth wisdom?"
And He whispered, "Trust Me."
I am that girl, who finally laid aside my intellect, raised my white flag high, and relinquished my reigns to the true Giver of purpose, value, and worth.
And He is transforming me, moment by moment, with His endless flow of grace that continually pours through this body, slowly and purposefully bringing meaning to every brokenness, every shattered dream, every festered wound. His Word, alive and breathing, awakens my mind, draws me with comfort, challenges me to obedience, and rescues my soul day after day.
My name is Mandi Reagan. I am in love with a warrior, and the mother of four amazing, yet broken children. He is radically teaching this momma through embracing special needs, welcoming and surviving the challenges of my precious adopted ones, and living the radical adventure of homeschooling. My worship instruments are my paintbrush, my camera, and my computer's keyboard. His faithful, lavish love is much too grand to keep all to myself.
I am that stubborn, broken girl who is undeniably in love with Love.
