Sunday, January 26, 2014

Loosening my grip...

It's been sitting still on the counter for months.  I just can't shake the meaning.  I find myself grasping - even groping, for true comprehension.
I so want to be wise.
I am wound up real tight at the moment.
This winding process is not always so easy.  It's difficult to keep the tension wound just right.  Too loose, and I start to spiral back downwards.  Too tight, and I suffocate myself and the little treasures all around me.
I am so weary in the steadying of this coiled spring.
Yet, with the rays warming my cheek toasty this morn, He whispered,
"Let go Mandi.  You can let go." 
Sisters, I am so ashamed that I forget He will hold onto this coil when I am so weary. 
What does this say about my faith?
If I let my guard fail, will He really keep their little twin brains from melding and concocting their next distructive adventure?
Will He really make sure her teeth are brushed, her hair is tamed, and her clothes are on correctly?
What if I relax and give my growing man-child the opportunity for adventure and fun within his school hours, instead of writing another expository essay?  Will He still provide him with the proper education?
"Yes Mandi, I will.  Trust me.  My ways are not your ways.  Surrender." 
Please pray for me as I reluctantly loosen my grip on this spring. 
I choose to trust the One who shed His blood to have relationship with me.