Thursday, December 19, 2013

Light in the Storm

She is pulling her hair out.  Literally.

The stress level in this home has risen so rapid, we are each surviving with our chosen coping method.

Joy pulling hair out. 

Hope hiding in the basement. 

Faith relentlessly twirling. 

Promise knawing her fingernails to extinction.

The Daddy Warrior buried in work. 

Momma cleaning.

I glance over at the twinkle lights, those trees standing tall in the corner so calmly, bringing some sense of peace, light within this storm.

I have been pretending this storm into a shower.

But a shower this is not.  No, this is the real deal, the terrifying dark cumulus, hovering, covering in every direction my eyes travel.

He created me a seeker, and so I am.  I am searching for the root, the cause of this storm.  But the wind, the darkness are clouding my vision, wearing me down to dry.

"If you faint in the day of adversity,
Your strength is small."
Proverbs 24:10

I read it this morning, let my reality pierce the heart deep.  My pride desires to be a pillar, not a brittle twig.

I read it last night, how Mordecai sent word to Queen Esther, called her to look outside the gates.  Perhaps she was purposely made for such a time as this, to risk her comfort, her very life to save the lives of her own people (Esther 4:10-17).

My heart thumps a bit harder with a spark of desire to run away, serve the hungry, the fatherless, the abandoned, the needy - the ones living outside my gate. 

I never imagined those living inside my gate would be the hungry, the fatherless, the abandoned, the needy.


I look at the Babe, laying there in the manger on the mantle and know, know He understands. 

He came tiny, helpless, homeless right into the storm of this world.

He came to love those who would not love Him in return.

He came to give Himself away over and over again without any hope of return.

I feel the sun shining brightly, warming the back of my neck. 

No, He must have had hope.  Hope that His chosen would surrender to the Cross, believe in His deep love and sacrifice, and humbly surrender to Him.

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."
John 1:5

In the midst of this storm, I need supernatural strength.  I cannot rely on my own.  I cannot surrender hope.  He has to be my strength.

He is chasing me, capturing my attention with the little glints of light.

I will keep chasing them, guiding them to the sparks. 

There is a purpose for this storm, and for every heart struggling within. 

We need a Savior.