Friday, November 29, 2013

A Tear in the Desert

We're driving down that isolating New Mexico highway, mountains in the rearview mirror, the high desert ahead.  Texas is beckoning, but still soooo far away. I'm sure I've heard, "Are we there yet?" more than 20 times, and well, this part of the trip always makes me feel scratchy and irritated.

The fabulous four are packed in the back, along with the spoiled pooch, watching the Avengers save the planet from an evil force that I can't even remember.  The Warrior Daddy drives the highway in silence.  I gaze out the window, feeling thirsty. 

Because the desert somehow always invokes that feeling, even with a water bottle in hand.

The sun is beating down on my arm now, and I attempt to rearrange to escape.  My mind wanders, remembers how only a few days prior, I kept moving myself near my home's windows soaking in each precious ray. 

How easily my perspective does change. 

I have been reading about Rahab, Elizabeth and Zechariah.  How Rahab abandons her faith in all she knows, believes in the God of the Israelites who rolls back the Jordan.  How Elizabeth and Zechariah have endured barrenness, a huge disappointment and cultural unnorm in their time, with their heads held high, hands intertwined.

I read it again, "Why do we fear the worst from God when He loves us completely and always gives us what is best?"  (p. 15, The Women of Christmas, Liz Curtis Higgs)

I know I have been afraid.  Afraid of what my surroundings whisper.  Afraid of being stuck in the wilderness.  Afraid of not being called normal.  Afraid I will remain dry and won't be able to endure. 

What does this say about my faith?

But, I know.  My mind really knows.  No matter my location, high on the mountain or down low in the valley; no matter my disposition, my thrist quenched or dry and wanting, He is near and is always singing His saving greatness.

"Behold, God is my salvation;
I will trust, and will not be afraid;
for the LORD GOD is my strength and my song,
and he has become my salvation."
Isaiah 12:2
Why do I forget to look?

With my feet propped up on the dash, I look down the road through that dirty windshield...


...and I see, I witness His overwhelming love.  With the dirt and grime and a windsheild wiper He paints a sunshine pointing straight to my heart...

...because He is the God of perfect timing.

I am determined to have faith like Rahab.

"With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.  And you will say in that day:
'Give thanks to the LORD,
call upon his name,
make known his deeds
among the peoples,
proclaim that his name is exalted.
'Sing praises to the LORD,
for he has done gloriously;
let this be made known in
all the earth.
Shout, and sing for joy,
O inhabitants of Zion,
for great in your midst is the
Holy One of Israel.'"
Isaiah 12:3-6

The Great, Holy One of Israel, in my midst right here in the desert.  

And a tear rolls down my cheek, soothing my brittle soul, reviving my heart.