My mind shook itself quick, back to reality, as I realized the light was green.
I just imagined myself gliding backwards. In reality the car in front of me was moving forward.
And isn't that just how it seems sometimes. We think and feel we are experiencing one thing, but the reality is we are really experiencing the opposite.
The mind is an amazing, complicated creation.
So is the spirit.
Sometimes it is hard to be the Momma to three sensory-seeking, attention-grabbing beauties and a teenage son. Sometimes it's hard to be the wife of a warrior.
"Thus let all Your enemies perish, O LORD!
But let those who love Him be like the sun
When it comes out in full strength."
Judges 5:31
Tonight, God took an enemy.
I am captured in emotion, grieving for the depravity of this world, and hurting so badly inside my stomach aches.
God is always good. This I cling to with all my strength. Sometimes it just takes time to see clearly through these foggy lenses.
I have been sad, tired from this long day. My prayer is my love for Him will shine, shine bright like the sun when it glows brightly in all its glory at midday.
Shine bright upon their fragile little hearts that desperately want confirmation of love.
Shine bright upon a tall man-child who just wants to be understood.
Shine brightly upon a tired warrior, who put his life on the line freely again tonight for the protection and safety of this community.
He is near.
He is the Mighty Protector.
He is the Light.
"Set up sign posts,
Make landmarks;
Set your heart toward the highway,
The way in which you went.
Turn back, O virgin of Israel,
Turn back to these your cities.
How long will you gad about,
O you backsliding daughter?
For the LORD has created a new thing in the earth-
A woman shall encompass a man."
Jeremiah 31:21-22
And I am that woman with my arms wrapped around Jesus. He is turning us back. We are on our way back home to our cities; His breathtaking, beautiful city.
My sign post...
...my snapshot of the first iris of the season in full bloom in the Van Gogh garden. A reminder of His faithfulness proven year after year.
My landmark...
...Faith's beautiful chalk rainbow, barely, but still visible after a rain shower.
I look outside and see the rain. My heart feels the sorrow, the brokenness.
But just maybe His mercy rain is cleaning the path, clearing my vision to take steps closer to Him.
