Day 681 Prayer Request

Please pray that I can be a true example of Jesus' love to my family.

Ann (Momma to 6)

Day 680 Prayer Request

Please pray for my daughter who is going to the hospital today.

Annette (Momma to many)

Day 679 Prayer Request

Please pray for me to be brave.

Reagan (Momma to 5)

Day 678 Prayer Request

Please pray for my child to make good decisions and for me to have wisdom in dealing with him. 

Annette (Momma to many)

Day 677 Prayer Request

Please pray for my mom.

Susan (Momma to 1)

Day 676 Prayer Request

Please pray for sleep and help with indigestion through these last few weeks of pregnancy.

Jane (Momma to 2)

Day 675 Prayer Request

We fly out to California this weekend to check out a future therapy option for our child.  Please pray for clarity.

Danielle (Momma to 3)

Day 674 Prayer Request

Please pray for our child as she attends a special camp this weekend designed for kids with the same issues as her.  Please pray that this camp will be very encouraging to her and that she will learn more about the amazing way that God has made her.

Anne (Momma to 4)

Day 673 Prayer Request

Our child starts OT this week.  Please pray for a positive outcome and that he could make some progress.

Marie (Momma to 4)

Day 672 Prayer Request

Please pray we can visit a treatment home this week and that God will guide us to the best place for our child.

Ann (Momma to 5)

Day 671 Prayer Request

Please pray for my heart.

Ann (Momma to 6)

Day 670 Prayer Request

Please pray I will be brave and intentional in following His will and sharing this with my family.

Reagan (Momma to 5)

Day 669 Prayer Request

Please pray for clarity as we make decisions for our children.

Reagan (Momma to 5)

Day 668 Prayer Request

Please pray that my husband and I will find time to connect and get on the same "team" about things.

Marie (Momma to 4)

Day 667 Prayer Request

Please pray that as our daughter starts a new med dosage and supplements that all involved would see clearly if this is what she needs.

Ann (Momma to 6)

Praise Him! Praise Him! Praise Him!

Praise His holy name!  He in near to all who call upon Him in truth.

"The LORD is near to all who call upon Him,

to all who call upon him in truth."

Psalm 145:18

I surrender....

If I am honest, I look around, all around, and acknowledge this is not where I thought I would be.  This is not where I want to be.  I am deeply sad.

Some realities are starting to suffocate, and I recognize my humanness, my deep ugly, my shame in not understanding, my slow surrender to exhaustion. 

I don't really want to talk anymore.

I don't really want to get up every morning to the same anymore.

How do I stay faithful to this hard, painful promise I made to Him?

So, here's the truth.  I am no hero.  I am just a momma, fiercely in love with five traumatized, broken children.  Four children who have suffered life-altering trauma, and one who didn't choose himself to travel along this road with his warrior daddy and I.  And, I know he's a lot fed up.

I feel like a broken record.  My hope shines out of me, while others stand by with watching eyes and witness my reality crash hard with my shine.  I can see the "I told you so's" in their eyes.  The enemy taunts me and stomps my hope to pieces on the ground.

"The LORD is near to all who call on him,

to all who call on him in truth.

He fulfills the desire of those who fear him;

he also hears their cry and saves them.

The LORD preserves all who love him,

but all the wicked he will destroy.

My mouth will speak the praise of the LORD,

and let all flesh praise his holy name forever and ever."

Psalm 145:18-21

It flutters around in my head.

My truth is, this. is. hard. 

Adoption doesn't fix kids.  I can rescue a little one from her environmental trauma, but I can't erase the emotional trauma that drives her every reaction.

"You are not an orphan anymore.  My job is to teach you you are no longer abandoned."  

I scrawled it upon a small bit of trash weeks ago, folded it and reread it every single morning as an encouraging cheer to motivate me to get out of bed.

My head knows He is near.  I am calling upon Him in truth.  I fear Him.  I know He hears me.  I believe He will save me.  I believe He will save my children.  I stand firm in the knowledge that He will preserve me, I love Him.  He will destroy the wicked.

But, they still act like orphans and they still believe they will be abandoned.

I have come to the conclusion that it is not my job to teach them they are no longer abandoned.

I have stood tall on the tips of these toes and tried so hard.  I have cried and begged and fought and researched and changed my approach and, ..... well the list can go on and on.  I have tried that hard.

Only God can teach them they are no longer abandoned.

And so, with tears streaming down my cheeks, my mouth will speak whispered praises (there is a little one asleep 3 feet away) to Him.  

I will quiet shout, "thank You my dear, merciful Father".  This job is way too difficult for me alone.  

I surrender.

My job is to love them and show them Love and keep putting my faith on the line each day believing they will one day believe too they are truly home.


a side note.....

http://www.christianitytoday.com/women/2015/april/adoption-doesnt-fix-kids.html?paging=off#bmb=1


I just read this short article, and cried.  Adoption is tough, isolating at times, and the hardest journey He has ever asked me to join Him in.  I am starting to realize this journey is not about fixing my kids.  He is changing me.  

Day 665 Prayer Request

Please pray for health.  No more sickness in our house. 

Marie (Momma to 4)

Day 664 Prayer Request

Please pray for a healthy baby.

Jane (Momma to 2)

Day 663 Prayer Request

Please pray for my friend's family.

Susan (Momma to 1)

Day 662 Prayer Request

Please pray for direction in parenting, teaching, and finances.

Marie (Momma to 4)

Day 661 Prayer Request

Please pray that we would be able to understand the different natures of each of our kids and have the wisdom to parent each according to their needs. 

Anne (Momma to 4)

Day 660 Prayer Request

Please pray for all my kids to know how much God loves them.

Annette (Momma to many)

Day 659 Prayer Request

Please pray for my family as we make the decision to put my mother in assited living. 

Susan (Momma to 1)

Day 658 Prayer Request

Please pray that I will speak the truth over my kids daily and pray for them in the Spirit daily. 

Jane (Momma to 2)

Day 657 Prayer Request

Please pray I will trust Him in the details.

Annette (Momma to many)

He is not here.....

He is risen from the dead, and we are all saved.  Hallelujah!  He lives!

The stone was moved and empty....

He is alive!

Happy Easter to you and your precious families. 

Day 656 Prayer Request

Please pray for motivation to complete schooling. 

Marie (Momma to 4)

Day 655 Prayer Request

Please pray for my elder brother's heart to rejoice in all circumstances. 

Anne (Momma to 4)

Day 654 Prayer Request

Please pray for patience with the kids over spring break. 

Ann (Momma to 5)

Day 653 Prayer Request

Please pray for good family time and safe traveling as we visit family in California.

Marie (Momma to 3)

Day 652 Prayer Request

Please pray for an important meeting this morning.

Danielle (Momma to 3)